Disproportionate Cheesecake

This is me trying to fit in.

One of my hopes for this blog is that it will not become just another precious, obscenity-free homage to sugar. If it does I will no doubt be readerless; there are many bloggers who are better at baking/photographing/driveling than I. Ergo, I beg for internet attention by both exploiting an obscure dessert niche and by holding fast to my snarky tone.

My cool cynicism, however, fools few. I'm behaving like the sarcastic, chubby friend everyone knows, the one who compensates for a lack of remarkable traits by being quick to scathe the outstanding qualities of others. Just as Sarcastic Chubby Friend secretly yearns to wear a floral-print sundress - or madras slacks, if male - I wish I were half as good at food photography as most other baking bloggers. (I'll not be coy; I am one of the better writers among typists who know what tuile is. But nobody's going to comment on my Flickr photos because I know how to tango with a thesaurus).

I baked these Disproportionate Cheesecakes because the best part of any cheesecake is its graham cracker crust. Deb and Anna can back me up on this, though Mandy, you may be stunting the growth of your little fellas by leaving them crustless. I digress. The Disproportionate Cheesecakes have a cookie-like texture that amplifies the honey-cinnamon essence of graham crackers. The cream cheese frosting consists of only three ingredients - cold cream cheese, sifted powdered sugar, and vanilla extract - and its sweet tang brightens the flavor of the bar. I initially added the strawberries as a garnish; taste tests confirm their necessity in the recipe.

In an effort to out-twee my competition, I posed the Disproportionate Cheesecakes to make them look sexier than they really are. Notice the deconstructed plating style with its tip of the hat to minimalism (do minimalists accessorize?). Let your eyes relax before the simple palette. Discern the symbolism behind the symmetry, but don't ask me what it is. Acerbic bloggers are above art criticism.

Disproportionate Cheesecake

Graham Cracker Bars
1/2 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
Pinch salt
6 tbs. butter, melted
1 3/4 c. crushed graham crackers
1 egg
1/2 c. light brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
3 tbs. honey

Cheesecake Frosting
3/4 c. sifted powdered sugar
1 8-oz. package of cream cheese, cold
2 tsp. vanilla extract

To make Graham Cracker Bars:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease an 8 x 8-inch square pan.

In a small bowl, combine flour, salt, baking powder, and cinnamon. In another bowl, combine melted butter and graham crackers. In yet another bowl, whisk egg with brown sugar. Add vanilla to egg and sugar; stir in graham cracker mixture and then honey. Finally, fold in flour mixture. Spread in pan - dough will be quite sticky.

Bake for 20 minutes. Let cool.

To make Cheesecake Frosting:

Gently blend cream cheese and vanilla extract. Do not overmix. Fold in one-third of the powdered sugar at a time until icing is smooth. Spread evenly on cooled Graham Cracker Bars. Garnish with strawberry slices, if desired.